In the sport of Pathy, there are two classes to choose from. One is less strenuous, but also somehow boring. The other is several degrees more intense and costs something, but is far more varied.
Those familiar with A-pathy will already be turning away, busying themselves with themselves again. That’s a genuinely interesting undertaking, looking inward and listening for the echo. A-pathists don’t feel less of the world — they simply let less of it in. Those who juggle feelings daily will be somewhat puzzled when these don’t even show up in other people. In a way, that’s understandable, when unwanted emotions get blocked out. Who wants to willingly and openly suffer through moments of feeling? Life is hard enough as it is, and emotions want to be deployed in doses. Given the current lopsidedness of world politics, so many feelings are called for that resources run short anyway.
Feelings are hard to tame, let alone eliminate. They show up whenever it suits them. And it makes no difference whether these emotions are overflowing or deeply sad.
They come and they stay.
For now.
Those familiar with Em-pathy will lean forward and ask themselves: what’s coming around the corner now? And ask the question: “Are you doing okay?” Those who struggle with Em-pathy can nonetheless count themselves lucky. Mostly. Because Em-pathists dive in, a lot and often. Their passion and willingness make them participants in situations shaped either by overflowing joy or deep sorrow. That can be exhausting, when you’re invited along on someone else’s emotional rollercoaster. Because diving into another’s world of feeling is exciting and intensely emotional. In my age bracket, feelings are called for more often, when friends or family members die or fall seriously ill. Then demand rises for shoulders to lean on and understanding for the tragedy at hand.
Em-pathy is extremely demanding. And that’s exactly what makes it valuable.
Oh no, this isn’t a casting call for owners of A-pathy and Em-pathy. This is meant, rather, as an invitation to open the door instead of barring it.
Again and again I think back to the time of the COVID-19 pandemic, when the law forced us to keep our distance. Physically, at least. And in precisely that unreal time of fear and panic, Em-pathy laced up its shoes. Neighbours and friends ran errands, listened, felt the fears, and spread hope and confidence. Homo sapiens was fundamentally built that way. No — that’s how it evolved.
And today we live in a differently shaped pandemic, one that knows all about spreading.
“Us and them” has become a battle cry against people who look a bit different, think differently, subscribe to different philosophies, and live different lives. Otherness becomes the point of attack. Hatred is socially acceptable again, and I wonder who held the door open for it. Because scarcely a concept in the history of humankind has ever succeeded on such motives.
“Oh no, here comes the old hippie again with his Woodstock philosophy!”
Yeeeah.
A hurrah for all the Em-pathists of this world.
And an invitation for the A-pathists to join in.
