"If I'm Being Honest…"
The alarm bells are more like little jingle bells, but they ring clearly enough. When someone opens a sentence with "If I'm being honest…"
I hear that everything from this point on is meant completely honestly. Well, then — what about everything heard or read before? Or after?
What’s truly fascinating is that almost no one questions this phrasing. “Come again? Were you not being honest up until now?” would be exactly that kind of pushback. Honestly speaking. Mind you, rhetorical filler phrases are like the side dishes no one really notices or takes literally. They’re simply there to… well, what do these words actually mean in the text? Nothing. They just want to filler about.
Back when I was spending more time — far too much time — wading through social media, I kept noticing sentences and fragments that made me stop short. As someone stopped short, I’d read or hear things like “99% of people don’t know this…” Hold on. 99% of people? Which people, and how many people are we actually talking about in real numbers? And then comes the sledgehammer claim: “They don’t want you to know…” Excuse me — who exactly is “they”?
Even better are the so-called cliffhangers like “You won’t believe what happened next.” They throw the door of curiosity wide open. But more than that, they call into question my previously private beliefs. How would they know whether — or what — I believe? Well then.
Oh, such guesses can be topped. When I read “Number 7 will shock you” I get rather suspicious. Why that particular number, and just how large will the shock be?
Genuinely shocked I was at this one: “Only smart people will get this.” You’re probably wondering whether I kept reading anyway. The risk being, of course, that I might genuinely not understand what it’s all about. Spoiler: No!
“How I made $5,000 while sleeping” made me perk up. Which sleep, exactly, and more to the point — how many different sleeping partners does it take to earn me $5,000?
Yes, these rhetorical tricks make money. Not for you or me, but for the ones making the claims. Some of these examples are true classics, long since exposed for what they are. And yet they still work. Are we Homo Sapienses so incapable of seeing through these tactical sentences?
Yes and no. The modern brain — the informed, educated brain — understands the hooks and catches in these sentences. But sitting inside that same skull is the Stone Age brain, running the same firmware as always, and it is… CURIOUS. The moment a knowledge gap opens up — Number 7 will shock you — something starts to itch in the flint-brain. And a generous helping of dopamine shows up, expecting a solution. No, it’s not the resolution that’s the kick — it’s the anticipation of it. Or so the psychologists tell us. Because back in the Stone Age, a gap in one’s knowledge was usually connected to the sabre-tooth tiger’s meal plan. And that meant danger to life and limb. Especially in the Stone Age. But that’s not the only trick for seducing you into the next click. When “99% of people don’t know this…” appears, we suddenly aren’t members of the exclusive club of those in the know. And the Stone Age brain simply cannot let that stand.
The truly tragic thing about this behaviour of ours in the modern age: our brain prefers the easier path — and happily invites you to click.
Saving energy in the process. The head becomes an energy-saving bulb.
Even though most of us (99% — remember?) know perfectly well about these tricks, we’re still not immune.
Not to worry — this is no new invention from the internet. It lives in our brain, and it will likely winter there for quite some time.
If I’m being honest: we learn from history — perhaps — but not from our behaviour.
“Only smart people will get this.”
