President of Algae

Abraham Lincoln would be puzzled. And probably annoyed by the green, slimy sludge at his feet.

The Lincoln Memorial looks out over what was once the Reflection Pool — now better described as the Green Infection Pool. The algae have taken over the reflection.

Whoever wrote the script for the tragicomedy that is American Government 2025: well done. Every soap opera looks on with envious green eyes at the scenes and plot twists that have left an entire world standing in stunned disbelief. This slimy brew in front of Lincoln’s monument is precisely the image that says more than a thousand words.

First, the maintenance staff for the Reflection Pool were let go. And since the cutting knife was already out — the pool’s budget was removed from the books as well. And with that, responsibility for the disaster dead-ends in a cul-de-sac.

The story of the green reflection reads like a prank pulled by a village of prize fools.

“The pool needs more presidential reflection!” was probably the line that sent the pool sliding into the greenish. And so the current President of the United Painters of America decided the pool needed a fresh coat, to look more American for the country’s 250th birthday. The President announced the renovation in April — he wanted to fix leaks and repaint the pool floor in “American flag blue.” He had previously called the basin “absolutely filthy” and promised to make it “beautiful” in time for the 250th anniversary of independence on July 4th, 2026.

The contract went to the Virginia firm Atlantic Industrial through a no-bid arrangement, with costs reportedly climbing to around $14.7 million, according to unconfirmed sources. The bill is being covered by the Recreation Enhancement Fee Program, which is funded by park entrance fees.

Something about the paint used appears to have been an absolute feast for the algae community. They promptly organised a family reunion — spread out across the full length of the pool.

The new blue paint began peeling away from the floor. Visitors filmed algae and flaking paint. The Department of the Interior had the inspired idea and the less-than-inspired solution: dump hydrogen peroxide into the water to kill off the algae.

The world watched, marvelled, and laughed when the green debacle became visible. Only the currently hard-pressed American citizens probably laughed rather quietly — or ground their teeth at the same time, teeth that would quite like to get proper food between them again.

America, the land of unlimited praiseabilities, once was. When something decides to take on an unwanted colour — green, for instance — it takes an orange head to sort out such a blunder. That much the theory still covers.

But one thing is — as always with the current President — reliable: the finger points at one or several culprits. A sabotage plot? A green act of terror? Algae vandals in sandals? The list stretches the entire length of the former Reflection Pool.

If the Capitol and all its surroundings can no longer reflect in clear blue-white water, perhaps reflecting on one’s own actions and omissions might be an idea?

Just a thought.

^{Photo by G. Edward Johnson}